Fun and Photos

Here's some photos from our recent Michigan trip.

Isaac's baptism
My grandmother and her 7 great grandkids
Carter and Skylar (my sister's boy)  The next 2 terrors to hit the Keller household

Carter seemed to know exactly what I needed today.  He just woke up from his nap with a brilliant laugh that brings a smile to anyones face.  Then he came down the stairs and said "I'm going to come running to you!  I haven't gotten my hug today!"  Then he gave me the biggest hug an almost 3 year old can give.

.....then he promptly ran to the tent we put up in the living room one recent rainy, cold day.  And he slipped and hit his head and started screaming..... but the hug was awesome.....

Family and Balance

Time marches on.  Another month goes by - a rather exciting one giving us a new president, a family trip to Michigan and a relaxing Thanksgiving at home.  Isaac is approaching 3 months (still only sleeping a 4 hour, then 2 hour chunks at night...) and Carter will be 3 next week.  Lars and I had our first "date night" since Isaac was born, courteous of Grandma Anne (thank you!)  We went with some friends to eat pizza and watch some ski movies at the Stowe Mountain Film Festival.  I think I was trying to relive my ski bum days.  Somehow trying to remind myself that I have not always been an exhausted mom, spending my days cooking, cleaning and trying to fulfill the needs of two needy boys.  There was a time before kids (BK) where I was able to travel at a moments notice, sleep in until noon, and read a book without pictures.  Even now, I'm typing this post with Isaac asleep on my lap - always a mom.  Kids first, then you. It's my new way of living.  It is funny how three years ago, I dreamed of the day we would have a family, and now I dream of the days BK.  Don't get me wrong, I love my boys so much it hurts.  But I have to make sure I don't forget who am.  Balance is so hard to achieve.  I am awed by all the mothers and fathers that have gone before me and look for inspiration from them.  I follow my brother and sister-in-law closely as well.  If anyone is seeking balance, I know they are.  Marc - thanks for your posts and know that it is helpful to hear your stories.  If anyone wants to check out www.caringbridge.org/visit/meredithwhitman please do.  My sister-in-law Meredith has been recovering from surgery from a brain tumor.  I was excited to receive a phone call from her and her family this week - the first time I'd heard her voice on the phone since the whole ordeal started in February.  Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

As we start a new month, I am striving to seek balance, love my family and rediscover the parts of me that I pushed aside.  While I am a mother, I am also a wife and, at the heart of it, I am Susan.  I need to find her again....

        Before kids.....

The Plague (or Laughter is the best medicine)

Well, the plague has officially descended upon our house in the form of boogers and more boogers, and the occasional high fever.  Carter has had the worst cold of his short little life, and is just sleeping through the night again after 6 nights (!) of waking up every two hours yelling out "boogers!"  Our one saving grace is he has learned how to blow his nose (albeit weakly).  We stooped a few times to spraying water in his nose with the booger snatcher, which he was NOT fond of.  I kept trying to tell him "we need to get the boogers out! You don't want them in there, do you?"  When he saw what we were going to do, he covered his nose and yelled "I love my boogers!" over and over. Needless to say, we do not.  Now that he is better, the fever has struck mama (for the second time this month!) I think we need to eat more kale or something.

I also wanted to post some photos taken by Carter, our aspiring photographer.  Whenever I take pictures he wants to as well, so here's his photos!  We could tell Carter was getting better once his laughter came back.  Let me tell you, that laugh can make even the worst situations better.  

Much love.

SMILE!!

Week 6 and blessed with our first real smiles! What a relief to see after 6 weeks of mere grimaces and cries and contented looks.  Now if we could just coordinate our nap schedules....

I think he looks just like Lars - any one else think so?

Sticks and stones....

I feel as if I am finally emerging out of my cloud from the past 5 1/2 weeks.  Isaac slept for almost 4 hours in a row last night, then woke up for a quick nurse, then was back asleep for another 3 hours.  If it weren't for his nasty boogers, it may have been even longer! Carter is really starting to take to his little brother as well.  He still is extremely needy and wants to be on my lap all the time, but he is always asking where Isaac is as well.  Carter and I started a movement class together this past week.  I thought this could be our "special time" for just the two of us to do something together and Papa would take Isaac.  But once we got into the car, the first thing Carter said was "Where's Isaac?  I want him to come with us!" Ahhhhh, you can't say I'm not trying.  But it has been very sweet to see Carter give little kisses to Isaac's nose and tiny hugs.

I also took 5 hours off on my own today and went out with my friend Maggie and talked about all sorts of things not related to diapers, breastmilk or naps.  It was refreshing to reenter some semblance of adulthood.  I'm also looking forward to the first time that Lars and I will be off together for an afternoon or evening together so we can start to reconnect.  Seems all our conversation revolve around "yep, last diaper change was 1 hour ago, nursed 2 hours ago, here you take him and I'll play with this guy, can you make some mac 'n cheese?"

We had a little bit of a crazy week - Lars woke up on Sunday morning with excruciating back pain, so we had a family trip to the ER at 3 am.  Needless to say, I no longer have the trump card of saying "you think you know pain? You've never been through labor!"  The doctor had the gall to tell me he's heard kidney stones are worse than labor.  It was strange to be on the other side of the drive to the hospital - Lars in the passenger seat muttering "breathe..... breathe....." He has since recovered and trying to stay hydrated.

Lessons

I thought I'd share a few things this morning.  First, all the things I'd once known so well, but have since forgotten.  And then, those things I've never known, but now do.

I'd forgotten.....

-how tiny everything on a newborn is, tiny hands, tiny toes, tiny bottoms

-how such a tiny bottom can create such a huge explosion (maybe it's just my breastfed boys, but you can hear them fill a diaper from across the room when they are small!)'

-how much I hate boogers in tiny noses, and how helpful a booger snatcher can be at retrieving them

-constant motion, always walking, always bouncing (or as Carter loves it when I say over and over- "bouncing, walking, patting Isaac's bum, bouncing, walking, patting Isaac's bum....)

-how much gas one child can have

-the sweet smell of a newborn

- the not so sweet smell of yourself after not having a chance to shower in ... a week?

-how great those first smiles are

-those little grunts and moans

-their scrunched up faces when they stretch

-how you really can survive (albeit marginally) on only 4 hours of sleep (in 1 hour bursts) for weeks at a time

-how much you need to rely on others to help

I've learned.....

-the advice "sleep when the baby sleeps" does not apply when you have a 2 year old

-how to nurse while: lying down, peeing, cooking dinner, attending to a 2 year olds boo-boos...

-nursing while trying to make applesauce is rather difficult

-that you can't be everything for everyone all the time

-asking for help is OK

-that if your 2 year old does not want to put on his day clothes for daycare, and your newborn is screaming as well, that you can strap both of them into their car seats (one wearing only a diaper) and they will continue to scream, but will not be able to run away.  

-that daycare parents are really understanding.  When I showed up on the aforementioned day, it was 8:30 am and several parents were around.  By this time, a bottle of milk had calmed Carter down, but when I carried him to the front door, his eyes were red rimmed and he was still only wearing a diaper.  I had to leave him briefly on the stoop to return to the car to get Isaac and Carter's bag and lunch.  None of the parents gave me a reproachful look, and several said "we've been there..." Carter did go on to have a fun day at daycare (wearing clothes...) and ever since, we've arrived in our PJ's and changed there.  There are some battles I'm not willing to fight.

-that as tough as some days are, having these two little boys is the best thing in the world

It's hard to believe it's almost been a month.  We've had some big highs and lows, but things are starting to smooth out. Enjoy the photos!

What's in a name?

Many people have been asking where the name Isaac came from....  It's not a long lost family name, rather just one we liked after going through thousands of name books, websites, etc (if you're looking for a name and want to know it's rank or any other interesting info, let me know - I know all the websites now!!) The name Isaac rose to the top after we then discovered the meaning of the name is "laughter".  Laughter is something frequent in our house and something fundamental we try to do every day.  Hopefully Isaac will enjoy his name for years to come.